My Baby

I have been given a babysitting job. I've had it for a while now. In the beginning it was difficult. I had not known the family long before I started babysitting for them. They were strangers to me, and it was odd to go into their home, eat their food, and dress their children.

Having been a substitute teacher for six years now, I have moments where I get sick of taking care of other people's children and just ache to have kids of my own. I have also wondered if it's wrong for me to enable a mommy to leave her kids. I still struggle with that from time to time.

The two children, a little girl and a little boy are three and one respectively. They are precious children, but for a while, I didn't know them. I didn't know the little girl who wanted to hug me and got mad at me if I wasn't paying one-on-one attention to her. I didn't know the baby boy who wanted me to cuddle him and rock him to sleep and kiss his dimpled face. I felt like such a trespasser. I didn't know these children. I didn't know their parents. The little faces longing to be kissed weren't mine to kiss. They belonged to another woman, and when I cuddled them close, I felt like I was invading another's territory.

One day, I was holding the little boy. All at once I realized that, right or wrong, at this moment, this was where I was. I realized that if I was doing wrong by aiding and abetting a mom to leave her children, God would make it clear to me in His time. I realized that I had a command from God to do whatever I do, heartily, for Him. I realized that, in a small way, for a small moment, these kids belonged to me. The baby sitting in my lap was mine to kiss and cuddle. His parents had surrendered that territory to me as long as I was with their children.

When I realized all that, all the reservations I had felt disappeared. I cuddled the baby close to me and kissed his face with reckless abandon. Because for now, he and his sister belonged to me.

And so I kiss and cuddle them. I throw them high into the air and catch them again. I play with them, I read to them, I sing to them. I tell them about Jesus. Every week, for two days, it's my little girl, my baby, and me. And God sees that it is good.